Below is my submission to a writing contest, where I did not, will not, cannot follow the rules.

Dear Brian, here is how you keep Margaret.

Give her all the attention she needs and deserves. Listen very closely. Her thoughts, stories, and dreams are gifts she gives you. “Pay close attention,” pay any price. Be completely present and accept the reward of joy you create by every moment you spend with her.

Make Margaret laugh. She loves to laugh, and you are funny, clever, amusing. Give that gift. This is how you got her. This is the fun of keeping her. Have fun!

Tell her she is beautiful every day. Tell her how your heart leaps when her beauty meets your eye. Say so. She makes herself pretty for you. Rewarding her efforts costs nothing and pays big dividends. As Margaret says, “You lucky, lucky, lucky man.” She is funny, too. All “her good stuff” is yours. Believe it.

Surprise her. Dream up any new thing you can conjure. Imagine how happy she will be when she realizes YOU did this. Use inspiration sparked by your love for Margaret’s happiness. Be careful – in every sense.

Your love for Margaret and the expression of it makes you both so happy. This is pure emotion. Be a clown. Be a sap. Let it flow. This is not weakness. This is your greatest strength.
Give yourself completely.

Brian, do these things not just often, but at every opportunity and all the time.

You have Margaret’s love. To keep Margaret, love her always.

If you won’t, you will lose.